Setting Intentions for the Week

Thank you in advance for your time; time is our most precious asset, so thank you for investing your asset into my work.

My husband shared with me that I tend to bull doze over his needs. And Damn that hit hard. I don’t want to be that type of partner.

Thank you, Goddess, for giving Patrick the courage to share his feelings with me. I am profoundly grateful for his courage to setting the framework for boundaries. I’m so, so proud of him. I’m infinitely grateful to be one half of our whole.

Thank you in advance for keeping Patrick’s needs a fore thought until it becomes second-nature. Thank you in advance for forgiving myself for bull dozing Patrick’s needs; my needs were bull dozed as a child. It’s the only thing I’ve known my whole life. I’m doing my best.

Thank you in advance for a change in my career by entering the law field. Thank you in advance for the opportunity with B’s divorce law office. Thank you in advance for my sponge mind to soak up all of the information for experience. Thank you in advance for the practical knowledge of law, going into law school.

Thank you in advance for the double money during 21 DOB. I am grateful that K contacted me for that time frame, and that she’s willing to work around my schedule at the law firm.

Thank you in advance for allowing that extra income to fund my Maritime Tour. Thank you in advance for a Very Newfie Christmas in Nova Scotia, with Linda, Eric, Dave, Sandra, Scott, and Mayvis and Jade.

Thank you in advance for our safety during Cvd Delta. We are scared of being infected by this mutated virus, and are grateful for our health.

Thank you in advance for art and creativity, for laughter, and for love. Thank you in advance for safety, financial security, and creating a successful side hustle.

I’m grateful for self-awareness, and my growing self-confidence. Thank you in advance for setting the example of confidence and tenacity, for Patrick to learn by my lead.

Thank you in advance for a manageable menstruation, and for continuous efficacy of barrier BC. We have decided to remain childless, and thank you in advance for no pregnancy.

Thank you in advance for a marvelous week, full of knowledge, newness, and creativity. Thank you for my health; I’m profoundly grateful for all of your gifts, Goddess.

Blessed Be.

The Woman I Used to Be: A Tragedy

What if the worst were to happen?

Would I be forced to feed its parasitic seed?

At the end, when its seed is extracted,

It will have drained my soul, trust, hope, and joy.

Once the seed is planted,

You see,

My humanity has been ripped from me.

Or her.

Or him.

Or they.

I’ll be nothing but a wilted flower;

Dried from the inside out.

The decaying, fallen petals are my tears of melancholy;

What little of me is left will be a husk,

Of the woman I used to be.

Sometimes…

Sometimes I hate how stupid and shallow others are and how much they look and act like me… ☼ Sometimes I think I second-guess myself too much; but, …

Sometimes…

“Sometimes I wish I were transparent because I get tired of having to move when people want to see something behind me.”

So powerful, and so human. Highly recommend the read!

I’m So Grateful!!

After only a couple of weeks since the launch, and 50 views 🥰❤️‍🔥 Doesn’t seem like a lot on the surface, but side hustles start slow.

Haven’t seen my website yet? Check out Autumnal Beauty! I specialize in beauty education! Check out my portfolio! Stay awhile 🥰

Coming Soon: Cheat Sheets, Tutorials, Beauty 101 lessons, and brutally authentic product reviews.

Stay tuned 🥰🌈😘❤️‍🔥🦄💋

And I’d be even more grateful than all the gratefulness if you’d subscribe to my blog, and if you’re feeling frisky, Autumnal Beauty too! I post cool stuff, about people, places, and things!

Join the dark side. We have cats. And cake 😘

My Calling In Life…And How I Got There

So, I have a confession to make: I have a special place in my heart for Star Wars Episodes 2 and 3. I know. SHAME. But hear me out.

I am such a huge Natalie Portman fan; she’s classy, opinionated, intense, she’s beyond talented, and she lives her life with a deep sense of integrity. In case you aren’t familiar with the movies, *spoiler alert*, she starred as Queen Padme Amidala of Naboo. She was elected queen in a democratic election because she was smart, level-headed, and a natural-born leader.

An iconic quote from Amidala in Episode Three, that was burned into my brain, “So this is how liberty dies:…with thunderous applause.” It’s a haunting statement which has stayed with me during many local, federal, and a particularly traumatic election in 2016.

In my senior year of high school, I knew I wanted to do advocacy work; I was obsessed with somehow being an intern at The United Nations, but I just didn’t understand my path; I didn’t know how to get there. I have been so lost in my quest to find my path, I stumbled off my path many, many times, before it hit me. Like, just a few months ago, and my old (feeling) ass is 32. I have been working on my BA since 2014. Holy shit. Adulting and making these hard decisions is stupid; high school did not prepare me for this shit!

I have known since childhood that psychology was in my bones, and I had a deep fascination with human behavior. Why do people act this way? How did they get here? Truthfully, I blame Batman The Animated series for discovering this fascination. Bruce Wayne is FUCKED. Actually, everyone in that show is fucked.

I digress.

And one night, while experiencing an existential crisis, I watched “Legally Blonde” for the 150th time. And then it hit me: Law School. I didn’t know if I necessarily wanted to practice law, but I wanted to have a base knowledge of government, laws, and how to change legislation.

Can you tell that movies and TV had a strong impact on my life?

I am NOT a famous person, but I am a woman with a big mouth, and a thirst for knowledge. If I wanted to change the world, I have to understand government, and I have to understand the people in the system. I might be little, and a friendly smile, but under this bubbly, happy exterior, lies a fiercely passionate woman, raised to lead.

I have two generations of strong, opinionated woman that give/gave 0 fucks about gender and societal norms. They’re flawed, but strong. They raised me to fuck shit up (even if they’d be shaking their head sometimes).

I’m the woman society warned us about: intelligent, witty, talented, hilarious, opinionated, and I constantly question the status quo.

If you like what I have to say, I’d be so grateful if you’d share, and possibly subscribe. Pweeeeseee??

I am so grateful for your time. Stay safe, wear a mask, and make good choices (or just don’t get caught making bad ones).

Byeeeeee.

#SaveTheUterus

Reflecting For The Week

TW: Brief mention of r***, incest, and abortions.

Today was both a good, and a bad day. I started off with tender breasts, PMS, and a fuzzy brain.

I was supposed to go to a lunch of a family friend, but epilepsy said, “Nah.” Luckily my amazing husband went to the store upon my request and picked up my Diet Coke, Twix, and Starbursts. Then he gave them to me and hid in his man cave. Wise man.

Later, Patrick and moved shit around in the apartment, to both change the energy flow, and to organize and store shit. We got a lot of work done today, and I can feel it. I finally smudged the apartment, after “thinking about it” for weeks. I feel so light, like a plastic bag, floating in the wind.

Lately, though, I’ve been really emotional, but not because of hormones. In Texas, they are trying to ban abortions after 6 weeks, regardless of r*** or incest, and make it possible for ANY ONE to sue someone they suspect who’s received an abortion, or someone they suspect performs abortions. The person doesn’t even have to be guilty of the “crime” to be sued, just suspected. The State of Missouri is now trying to ban IUD’s, because they’re considered aiding in abortion.

I feel so violated and angry. I have never been pregnant, and actively avoid pregnancy, as it often leads to children. But what if my birth control fails? What if the worst possible outcome occurred, but I’m forced to grow that person’s seed?

These situations occur EVERY DAY. A woman from my past became pregnant when the manufacturer of her birth control filled the whole month of her cycle with placebos, instead of the hormonal BC. I’m sure she was one of thousands who unknowingly became pregnant.

The woman showed no symptoms of being pregnant, and all the while she was receiving heavy treatment for Covid-19 symptoms. She was 18 weeks along when she found out; the fetus was severely underdeveloped, and had the pregnancy gone to term, the child would have come out with horrifying side effects of this treatment. This doesn’t begin to unpack the trauma, excruciating pain, and worsened sickness for this woman.

Women don’t have abortions to fill out a punch card; it is a last resort when everything else has failed.

This has been weighing on my mind as heavy as 25 cats. For the first time in my life, I am terrified for my future. I live in America – the land of the free, and home of the brave. This isn’t supposed to be happening in America; these things happen “over there”. Where is my freedom? Where is the freedom for other women?

My real fear is, what’s next after abortions and IUD’s? Will hormonal birth control be next? And then, will we be too busy being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen to have a job or be educated?

It’s not “just” banning abortions; it’s a slippery slope back to the 1950’s.

Pro-Choice ≠ Pro-Abortion

But. I’m at the point in my life where I know if I don’t speak up, and evangelize for us as women, that I’m apart of the problem, and I am done being apart of the silent majority.

I was not born to be normal; I was born and raised not run away from a fight, rather, grab my sword and beat it until it cries for its momma. I was born to lead, and I was raised to get shit done.

So that is exactly what I’m going to do.

My metaphorical pen will be my sword. I will share stories of women I’ve crossed paths with throughout my ridiculously traumatic and unstable life.

I hope you will join me by speaking your truth, or just sharing this piece; help start a larger conversation.

Let’s start a revolution. #SaveTheUterus

Autumnal Beauty Preview

So I have some things I’ve been working on quietly, and I’m not quite ready to spill the beans just yet, but here’s a preview. More details and seriously exciting news coming soon!

𝖍𝖙𝖙𝖕𝖘://𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖚𝖒𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖇𝖊𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖞.𝖈𝖔𝖒/𝖕𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖎𝖔/

All Photo Credit Goes to Graphics Metropolis